It started as all good things start. I was happy, enjoying the new thing, exploring the unknown, trying to fit in facts and figures just like that broken card game wherein you put pieces together to make a picture. It’s always interesting to do that the first time, with someone the first time, for someone the first time and being done by someone for the first time.
It’s strange and perplexing that what ever thing I tend to delve on has this binomial distribution graph, yes that bell shaped graph. Things starting from no where, then they start accelerating towards good, better and best. They attain the peak and leave you with only memories that you can cherish your whole life. Now starts the deceleration. Out of the blue, things start getting poor, bad and worst. I never understand when you have attained that peak why things start deteriorating from that point. I feel that should be the point of a new start, you are at the best point; you have now nothing new to explore or know. This should be ideally the starting point. But strangely this doesn’t happen. And I know not why.
Yet I have decided to change this for the first time. I’m adamant to defy the law this time. My stubbornness is my companion in this Endeavour. I have already defied few stated laws but they weren’t that specific or rigid. The big ordeal begins now. The moment I know I’m at the peak, I’ll go for that start. As of now I know I’m very near it, but that is only a prima facie evidence and not a conclusive one. Either I Do or I Die.
This new graph still needs to see the light of dawn, but that old graph is still there in its last stages.
I’m due for that final conflict. I evaded the confrontation and stepped back in between. But it’s like death, if it’s going to come, its going to come. No matter whatever you do. Every now and then I get some news and that adrenalin starts pumping in anticipation of a confrontation. It hasn’t happened yet, and I know not when it will happen. I wish it happens soon. I don’t want this graph to get prolonged and clash with the new graph which is about its peak. When I start there, I don’t want extra baggage. But this is life and this is the “PERPETUAL PARADOX” of Spirit……..
4 comments:
Things have happened to me when i have expected them the least...and all my expectations have led to sorrow!! you never know what will be NEXT but if that NEXT is good, you must extract n cherish the best out of it. And dont worry if that NEXT doesnt turn out to be good...coz the sun rises every day and even if dat doesnt satisfy u, den there is always a full moon after a no moon night !! Your Bell curve is just like PLC but have you forgotten the fifth stage in it??keep up the spirits !!
Hiya Ravi,
First things first: i wanna thank you kindly for the mail that you have sent me & the warning on yahoo:) sometimes such minor things make someone's day (espesh when that someone was sick, like i've been) anyway, i gladly state that i am back to health with some minor things left like cough etc. i am heading back to the healthy world yaaaay. no time to be sick nowadays, i guess, the world just doesnt wait. anyway. i am offtopic.
You can not imagine how deeply i can relate to this text. You have just spoekn to me. A lot of ppl, on lessons, for instance say that theur negative point is being stubborn. I also say it, just cuz teachers wanna hear it, yet in reality i do not think that it is a negative point like we're used to think :) & u r at last the person who admited it too. Great. I am not alone. "My stubbornness is my companion in this Endeavour" Yes, stubborness is my companion too & i enjoy my companion,s presence. Although sometimes, they say that i am ready to walk through dead bodies if i wanna achieve something. Ya know? They r right. But I, myself, can achieve something. There is no one to rely on. The graph has to have a culmination point which i prefer to put myself. With no one else's help. Stuborness. "Either I Do or I Die." such powerful words. Really powerful.
However, I've never liked playing that pieces game. It was never interesting for me. I was too lazy to get too much involved into it becoz i wouldnt go to sleep till i do it till the end <-- signs of stubborness :D
Ravi, I am so much inspired by your blogs. They are trully wonderful. You dont need me telling it to you, cuz i guess you know it yourself.
Hope to see you around.
Edyta.
jassi here
kuch kuch samajh aa raha hai ab.. things came life and the old curve collapsed.. no regrets ... happy now.. and with the new curve where the much more exploration has to be done ...seems most difficult.. but happy now.. remark for you
" SOONER THE BETTER" .. take care ..love you ..
hmmm.... its nice to know that u think abt urself so much. ... dont laugh. it's tough. we actually dont think abt ourself that much. we think abt people around us.
also u hav the courage to break the laws. man it need guts. u r determined to change the rules to make ur life better . its a good sign.
though i was not able to relate it Perpetual Paradox of Spirit.
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