CUPIDS FIRST CARESS

CUPIDS FIRST CARESS

A TAKE OFF FROM PRODIGY’S FIRST BLOG

Of the whole plethora of ways in which love elevates you to that ecstatic level where you are ready to take an arm against anyone, come what may, there is a way that gives you wisdom, prudence, an illumined trajectory to tread on and yes the most important, memories to cherish for your entire life. Of all the love rather all kinds of love, the most important for today’s youth rather for any individual is the one when he is struck by cupid. Be it for the first time or for some a couple of times. Not admonishing other loves which we all have for some or the other person related to us in our life I would stick to cupid’s victims. For these victims, if fate confers, go on to lead a loving, peaceful and satiating life.

1 July’99, Thursday – I had taken admission in a new school to complete my intermediate. I expected to be bedazzled by the incandescent deities that are studying with me not necessarily in the same class or year but I was denied this pleasure for some time or rather I would say it was an abstinence I was living on. It is a sultry day of august in my city and we had our school day finished. I was coming out with my friends from the class and had reached the school gate. There was this retail store in front of the school where most of the students used to flock after school to have refreshments. I come out of the gate and in an accustomed manner look towards the shop. Never had the shop been as alive as it did that day, for it had the full moon glow on its visage. Standing in front of it was – the fragrance of spring, a refreshing cascade, the morning dew, the first drop of rain on dry parched earth, that cool summer evening breeze, the winter sunshine, the serene sea wave, that twinkling star, the only flower on a plant and the sparkle of my eyes – SNIDHI.

She was having a coke, her head looking up, the coke pouring down her throat, one of her leg a little bend, to tell you honestly it was that poise of her that made my heart skip a beat. Later when I enquired about her, my classmates who were studying here for years told me her name and her infamous past. Not that she had a tainted past, she was as chaste as fire, but she had a long queue of aficionados. I was a novice in the field and in the queue. Yes I would say it was for the first time I was feeling the way that made my heart flutter and my words stutter. Was it love?

Every time I used to see her my heart would skip a beat. I couldn’t look straight at her face; I would look for corners in open field, I was shy rather timid and I was ignorant of those immaculate moves and ways that could get me closer to her. Only thing I knew for sure was that I lacked courage to talk to her and I was pusillanimous. But I was ready to give it time. I realized later that she was not the one I would really want. She wasn’t the one I used to see when I closed my eyes and looked for no one but her. Was it crush, infatuation or love I don’t know but all I know is that she was not “THE ONE”.

Time flew away like autumn leaves and I realized it was someone else that I was feeling for sincerely. Who was a good friend, with whom I liked to spend time, with whom I wanted to share my thoughts, who was receptive to my ideas and views and who had a ear for all my words. If you want to know how big the world is you need to accept the fact that what you have seen is not the world. In some years it was proven that even she wasn’t “THE ONE”. And I was forced to think who “THE ONE” is for me. (For details on this read my first blog)

Over years my heart became like a write protected disk whose write protection makes you immune to getting involved with any other girls. Now I was a changed man. The one so amiable amigo was now frugal in his emotions. I was denying myself the feeling of being oneself. It affected me and is still affecting me and is making me a changed man, a man who is very different from the lad I was. I don’t search for cupid’s love now for I have realized that there is another love which is more important than it, its friendship love.
“FRIENDSHIP IN LOVE OFTEN DIES,
BUT LOVE IN FRIENDSHIP NEVER”
I have a coterie of friends who are there for me and I’m there for them. I have realized from a burnt past that love is not we think and believe but it teaches you its definition in its own subtle way. You will realize one day that you did something for someone which you could have never done in life, when you accept that you are ready to live for not yourself but that special someone and that person becomes more of you than he himself you will witness the noblest of emotions on this mortal abode that is called LOVE.

P.S.: My definition of love is not this. I’m guilty of not writing what I actually feel but then you
are not “THE ONE”.