Saturday, February 03, 2007

QUICKSAND


Ever imagined yourself in a quicksand. You are trying hard to get out of it but the harder you try the more it engulfs you in its abysmal depths. Have you ever imagined that life could be a quicksand of its own? Ever imagined situations that bog you down and you find yourself helpless and hapless. Ever imagined you losing all what you have, when you had secured it in the confines of your heart. Ever imagined yourself being speechless, when there is a whole gamut of emotions within, waiting for the right words to get expressed. Ever imagined a hollow within, a creepy hollow that like a black hole is ready to engulf everything you wish and desire.




Past few weeks saw me in each of these situations. Situations where I was helpless coz I couldn’t do anything for them, they were just beyond my control coz there was someone else on the drivers seat. Situations where I was hapless, jealous of someone else’s fortunes and ready to accept my own misfortunes. Situations which saw me dead in silence coz I was so close to lose something precious and I knew not what I would be doing after that. I had so much to say to chain my fortunes but I could not utter anything to anyone. All these unsaid words were clogging within and choking me to death. The resulting silence was deafening and inexplicable and people around me could not accept it as it was unlikely of the person I’m.



This darkness had to see light of dawn someday and it came but very subtly. I was infused with confidence, trust and faith that at the end of it I won’t be standing alone. I don’t know what it did to me but the result was an outburst of emotions that found words instantaneously. I found myself hand in hand with a companion who was ready to hold my hand in times of despair, ready to lift me when I was bogged down, ready to make me smile when troubles galore. The result; an effervescent smile lingering throughout the day on my nonchalant face. That smile still persists. It comes on its own everyday without a reason coz the reason it needs is embedded within. Nothing can make it leave my face. The reason is strong, the happiness unlimited and the LOVE IS IN AIR.

Life is CYCLIC

If it hadn’t happened to be what it is today then I wouldn’t have ever accepted in its full bloom the fact that “LIFE IS CYCLIC”. Everything happens here in a cyclic manner. Things, events, happiness, sorrow, pain, agony, ecstasy all come and go and come again to tell us that they are not over yet. It’s been quite some time since I last wrote my blog, 2 months roughly. My last blog was a reaction and that reaction rendered me word less to write anything. But today I wake up from that deep slumber to talk on something that I have witnessed off late.

There was a point when I was very happy, ready to change things as per my wishes, ready to take things in my stride by doing what no one would expect me to do. I was ready to build more and more bell graphs at the peak of every existing graph. But then something happened and I was pulled down like that kite which is not worth being in the sky and humiliate the flyer with its whimsical fly. Things kept happening after that. Words left my world. I became silent at most of the times. But my silence has always given me light of hope and a clear path to tread on. After years of silence, my heart uttered those deep struck thoughts and emotions and unbelievably I have been very happy after that. It’s like a bone that was stuck in my throat and has been removed. I don’t know how long this happiness gonna last coz again that cyclic trend will come with its regressive phase. So what I wanna do is make most of what I’m getting and make others around me happy too. Lets see how long this phase lasts but I wish it lasts really long and long and long…………………….